I spent a rather
large portion of the day today texting back and forth with various
people about an upcoming birthday celebration for a partner's
ex-partner (who is still an intimate friend of his). Do you want to
know a great recipe for Completely Unnecessary Drama? Here it is: mix
together five people's schedules, and five people's venue
preferences, and five people's communication styles; then blend in a
truly dizzying array of dyadic dynamics, one at a time, stirring
constantly; and finally, top with grated old resentments and a dollop
of fresh jealousy.
Yum, yum. Does
anyone want fries with that?
Whenever I have a
day like this, I feel a little bit silly about having set myself up
as a relationship advice columnist. Although I have fifty years of
experience in long-term relationships – nine more years than I've
been alive, even! – I still regularly run into situations where I
don't know what the hell I'm doing. Relationships are complicated.
Open relationships are even more complicated. And I am not remotely
perfect, or even perfectly poised about my many imperfections.
What does all of
this mean? It means that there is no way I'm ever going to get
everything right. The best I can be will never be as good as I wish I
were. But it'll just have to do.
So today, I'm
feeling great fondness for all my fellow strugglers and stragglers
out there: if you are earnestly engaged in the messy process of doing
your best, but you're feeling a bit down right now, this one's for
you.
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